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Mary Cathleen Renckens, born July 31, 1955 in Dunkirk, New York passed away on October 13, 2025 in Charlotte North Carolina. She was a warm-hearted, flamboyant friend, sister, aunt, and daughter. In every role she played, Mary was vivid, memorable, and deeply committed to the many communities she was part of. Fiercely devoted to her family—both the one she was born into and the one she chose in the recovery community—Mary lived a life of service, love, and authenticity.
A graduate in social work from Western Carolina University, she worked with incarcerated individuals, offering them compassion and support. She had a deep love for spirituality, water, the mountains, and her Higher Power—whom she came to know through her recovery journey.
Mary was known for her generosity and quirks: she often handed out sky lanterns, thrift store treasures, and whatever happened to be on her mind. She loved all of us deeply—and we loved her right back.
The second oldest of five siblings, Mary spent her life helping others while also standing her ground. She was a proud friend of Bill W. for over 36 years and credited her sobriety as the foundation for her health, happiness, and purpose. She brought humor and joy to her recovery, sponsoring and encouraging countless others to pursue their best selves.
Mary was a true helper and a bright spirit who touched many lives. Her memory will live on in our hearts.
She was predeceased by her parents Bob Renckens and Peg O’Connor and her brother Mike.
She is survived by her sister Karen Clanton and her husband Sid. Her brother Tim Renckens and his wife Susan, her brother Tom Renckens and his wife Sarah Fagg and especially her beloved nieces and nephews Carly, Jessie, Paul, Daniel, and Andy.
Service to be held on Sunday October 19th at 10:30am Galilee Ministries 3601 Central Ave. Charlotte NC 28205
Carolina Cremation is assisting the Renckens family. Online condolences may be made at www.carolinacremation.com.
Joan E Gardner says
Wonderful. She was a blessing to us all.
Vicki Jones says
Mary was a big personality when she walked in a room you knew it. Her laugh was distinct, I’ll miss her sweet heart. Love to the whole wonderful family.
With love Vicki Jones and Greg Barbour
Mike & Judy says
Well said.. Thinking of all of the family and she will be missed at family gatherings and sing-alongs..she truly cared about others
Barry says
Rest in peace Mary. God bless.
Jan Mintun says
A beautiful testament to your sister, and the life she lived! Much love to you & your entire family~
D. Gehen says
Dear Cousins,
Mary was a no frills, tell ya Like it is! and yes, that giggle!!
Her soft voice I can vividly hear, too.
Rest in Peace, Mary; a life well-lived 🙏
God’s comfort and strength in this time.
Love, peace,
Donna
Judy Tooley says
Mary, I’m going to miss you so much. You were a special light. I’ll always remember our lunches and dinners out, and how you got me into my first “meeting.” Love you.
Laura Brady says
Mary, I met you when you moved in across the hall from me. And when I got to know you, I found you to be a kind, thoughtful and genuine friend. A forever friend actually. I so enjoyed our long talks and our movie nights while we munched on popcorn while laughing about all the crazy stuff on television. I am heartbroken that you have left us. I will forever miss you, Mary. Rest easy my friend.
Joanne Aber says
My thoughts and prayers go out to Mary’s family…
I knew Mary at her mother’s summer cottage on Lake Erie…a warm kind hearted person who loved her family and friends dearly…
May you all walk in the sunshine of memories of her…
Joanne Aber
Family friend
Wichita, KS
Cousin Donna says
Dear Cousins:
You will receive special “angelic hellos” from Mary in due time. She is busy at her banquet, seated with other Family and Christ at the Reunion and Table set just for her.
Mary was indeed a light in the world …
My love and condolences for this time of change and it isnt good-bye; a so-long for now.
Hugs to you!!
Betty Jo Riggsbee says
Mary, you will be missed by many. Your kindness and faith in the Lord made you blessing to so many people.
I am so glad you were part of my Church Family.
My condolences to your beautiful family.
I regret that I will miss your celebration of life.
David Fournier says
Mary was my neighbor at Woodlawn House. I’m really going to miss her. She always had thrift store “treasures” that she was more than happy to share. lol. This morning I wore a robe she gave to me and thought of her. She was always offering to take me to a meeting. She gave me my 16 year medallion a few months ago.
My sincere condolences.
Elsa Paolantonio says
Mary was my best friend for over 50 years . We met staying in the same dorm at Western Carolina University in the 70’s . She was so vivacious and colorful. Mary quickly became a huge part of my family , staying at my Grandmothers family home and we spent so much time together at my family there or taking vacations together. Mary was a True and devoted friend all those decades. She loved her friends and family fiercely. There is nothing she would not do to help someone . She was the most beautiful and caring person I have ever known . We had planned to spend some time in the mountains together this fall, she so loved the color season. Just a day or so before she passed she had left me a message she was going to get better ( fierce spirited and strong )
Her words at the end of the message were “always remember Elsa we are best friends forever and forever and forever “. I saved that recording and listen just to hear her voice and feel her grace and love .
Mary , I miss you everyday. My heart aches . My only comfort is that knowing you are in Heaven, looking over us and sending signs that you love us and Heaven is beautiful . Many of us that knew her will Never find another friend who loved us all so much .
Elsa Paolantonio says
Mary was my best friend for over 50 years . We met staying in the same dorm at Western Carolina University in the 70’s . She was so vivacious and colorful. Mary quickly became a huge part of my family , staying at my Grandmothers family home and we spent so much time together with my family or taking vacations together. Mary was a True and devoted friend all those decades. She loved her friends and family fiercely. There is nothing she would not do to help someone . She was the most beautiful and caring person I have ever known . We had planned to spend some time in the mountains together this fall, she so loved the color season. Just a day or so before she passed she had left me a message she was going to get better ( fierce spirited and strong )
Her words at the end of the message were “always remember Elsa we are best friends forever and forever and forever “. I saved that recording and listen just to hear her voice and feel her grace and love .
Mary , I miss you everyday. My heart aches . My only comfort is that knowing you are in Heaven, looking over us and sending signs that you love us and Heaven is beautiful . Many of us that knew her will Never find another friend who loved us all so much .
karen clanton says
well it has been about two months and we are still getting use to idea we cant call or hang out at the pool or go to lunch. love you Mary. you did good. love karen