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Thomas David Oksen (68) passed away peacefully at his home in Lake Wylie, SC, surrounded by his
loving family on July 6, 2024. He was born on January 7, 1956, in Toms River, NJ to the late Erhard
Oksen and Linda Skillman Oksen.
Tom is survived by his wife of 43 years, Donna and three sons and two daughters-in-law, Peter
(Amanda), Andrew and William (Tessa). Tom is also survived by four siblings: Sue Oksen-Pereira (Tony)
Beachwood, NJ, Gail Donnelly Beachwood, NJ, Chris Oksen Toms River, NJ, and Patty Keesling (Jim) Pine
Beach, NJ. Tom is also survived by many nieces and nephews.
Family was very important to Tom. He was a devoted husband, father, brother and uncle who had a
passion for building and fixing things and spending time with family and friends on the water.
A celebration of Tom’s life will be held on Sunday, October 6, 2024, at Toms River Yacht Club from 12
noon to 4:00 pm.
Carolina Cremation is honored to serve the Oksen family. Online condolences may be made at www.carolinacremation.com.
Chris Obery says
Donna and boys,
I am saddened to hear of Tom’s passing and offer my sincerest condolences. I had the pleasure of working with Tom in Charlotte where we enjoyed many lively and humorous conversations. I will always remember him fondly as he made the work place more enjoyable.
Andrew Snyder says
That’s Who Tom Was
Tom entered our lives as a renter of our ADU around 2012, when he was on assignment for General Dynamics in Vermont.
Unlike most people we’ve ‘hosted’ in our ADU over the years, Tom offered from the beginning to ‘help’ out around the property. Since everything we do around the property involves hard heavy work, I never knew how genuine this offer was. Then one day, my wife, Mary was building one of her many rock walls around her flower gardens. Tom asked me if I would mind if he helped her. I said not at all…’I hate rocks’!
Our house in Vermont is on 17 wooded acres. The house is very comfortable with radiant floors for heat. We augment our heat with a wood stove in the basement. Burning wood is a lot of work, but living in the woods…it’s what you do! Burning wood involves cutting the trees down, limbing them, hauling them out of the woods which are always on hills, blocking them up into usable sizes, splitting it, stacking it then finally hauling it down into the basement to burn. Tom religiously helped us do this every weekend. He never asked for anything for his efforts, but instead called it his ‘therapy’ after long work weeks. That’s who Tom was!
After about a year or so of Tom ‘helping’ out, we started inviting him in for Sunday Dinners. We had never done this with anyone we’ve ever hosted, before or since.
During Tom’s time with us we met Donna. On one of her visits to Vermont Donna got involved with helping us after a violent storm had blocked our driveway with trees, which took 5 of us 4-5 hours to clear! Along the way, we met Will and his future wife Tessa. We hired Will at one point to help us with a home improvement project. Sunday dinners were not complete without some part of the discussion with Tom ‘updating’ us on the family including Peter and Andrew. That’s who Tom was!
Then I decided to embark on what turned out to be a 2 year endeavor, to build my wife a long awaited potting shed. After looking at various premade offerings, I decided I could do better. After clearing the area, I was ready. Tom asked if I could use some help, “sure” He then asked where I got my plans? I showed him a sketch and he said ‘oh’, which in ‘Tom Talk’ no doubt meant OMG! So, from the pickup load to pickup load, there were many of stone we initially spread, (a lot of it) to the roof, including probably the only potting shed in Vermont with tongue and grooved maple hardwood flooring, Tom helped! He would put his tool belt on and lend a hand every weekend. His help and knowledge was a huge help, since this was my first endeavor of this kind…ever! A plaque honoring his efforts hangs in the shed today and will hang there, until our time on the property ends. Thats who Tom was!
When Tom’s Vermont assignment finally ended in the fall of 2018 (about 6 years after we first met), we were sad to see Tom go. He had become a friend. A friend who over the many hours we spent toiling together discussed family, cars, politics, joys and frustrations, etc. That’s who Tom was!