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For me, Tony Benjamin (Benjy) Baity, it’s checkmated at age 54. I have passed into the great unknown. Some will say, “He’s gone to heaven.” Others will guarantee you I’ve gone straight to hell. Either way, it’s another opportunity during which I hope I can discover the answer to one of life’s great mysteries – just where do all those socks missing from the laundry go?
I was born in Thomasville, N. C., on March 1, 1964, to wonderful parents, Tony W. Baity (deceased) and Sandra P. Baity (still kicking up her heels in Carolina Beach, N.C). As it turned out, I lived the perfect childhood thanks to my parents.
I am survived by my wife, Melissa O. Baity (I could not ask for a better mate to love me), a son, Benjamin Andrew Baity (a fine young man blessed with his daddy’s charming wit), and a beautiful daughter, Jorjana Grace Baity (stubborn as her daddy), all of Linwood, N.C. Also, surviving are my two younger brothers, Paul H. Baity and Jason M. Baity (neither of which have ever learned to listen to the smartest child our parents produced), both of Lexington, N.C.
Anyway, I think I lived a good life. I loved my family and a few close friends. During my life, I tried to do what I thought was right based on the information I had when making decisions and I never intentionally tried to hurt anyone. I stood up for my beliefs and convictions, never compromising for material gains. Some have said that was my downfall, I believe it to have been honorable and true to my moral character. I swam against the current, not because I wanted to, but because I saw it as the right thing to do.
I spent 28 ½ years, as a dedicated public servant, working 13 of those years as a North Carolina Department of Transportation Right of Way Negotiator, buying land for new roads and highways. Prior to joining the NCDOT in January 2000, I worked in local and state law-enforcement, during which time I received a State Advanced Corrections Certificate and a State Intermediate Law Enforcement Certificate, both from the North Carolina Department of Justice. After retiring from public service, I spent three years as a Private Consultant/Project Manager. I also worked as a professional journalist, newscaster, and became a published photographer and a fledgling artist.
In 1986, I was awarded a Baccalaureate degree in English with an emphasis on Mass Media Communications from High Point University. I earned a Masters of Science degree in Management with an emphasis on Project Management from Colorado Technical University in May 2011. I became a licensed Real Estate Broker with additional training in various aspects of real estate appraisal. During my professional career, I held numerous professional certifications, taught in the local public school system, at the North Carolina Justice Academy, as well as at various community colleges and seminars throughout the State of North Carolina.
I do have a few regrets. First and foremost is that in spite of having written in various genres throughout my lifetime, my first novel remains unfinished. Secondly, I sucked at chess. It’s one of the few things during my life I could never quite master. Yet, being an avid enthusiast I played in many tournaments, including the 2nd Annual World Senior Open in Philadelphia, PA. Didn’t win a game.
There will be no funeral, no burial fuss, no dog and pony show. I will be cremated and my ashes boxed for placement, probably on some dark shelf next to my dad’s. However, there will be a party (loud music, good food, and spirituous drink) for all family and friends. For anyone wishing to express his or her thoughts of my life and me, this will be the time and place. Contact Melissa for details.
Lastly, please no flowers. In lieu of such, make a memorial donation to: Asheboro Chess Club, Tom Hales – President, 946 Glenwood Road, Asheboro, North Carolina 27203 (chess@triad.rr.com).
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride! – Hunter S. Thompson
Peace to each of you, especially if I can find some of your missing socks and put them back into your laundry!
Carolina Cremation is assisting the Baity family. Online condolences may be made at www.carolinacremation.com.
Lewis Saintsing says
Tony was a person who tried to his dealings with people. He would never deliberately treat anyone unfairly. I wish we had more of those type people in public service. I considered Tony a friend. He will be missed.
Cheryl Murphy says
Dear Sandy, I am so sorry to hear of Benjy’s passing. I haven’t seen him since we were kids running about the neighborhood, but from reading his obituary, he seems to have remained being a bit of a kid at heart. (It is a shame we don’t all do that a bit more.) I hope that memory will ease the hurt in your heart. I wish for you the peace that he seems to take with him and knowing how much he loved and respected you. With my deepest sympathy.
Dana Banister Coleman says
Benjy – a forever friend and the best locker buddy a high school gal could ever hope for – I’m so sorry for your loss – May God comfort each of you in a special way – I miss Benjy already ❤️
Brent P. Holshouser says
Although I hadn’t been in touch with Benjy for many years, I’ll always remember those Friday nights at High Point College drinkin’ ice-cold “Cokes,” crankin’ up Springsteen and the Stones way too loud and trying to figure out what was wrong with the rest of the world. Me and Benjy, we were fine. And he was a mighty good guy to run the streets with. So rest in peace, old friend. To the family, God be with each of you.
Jim Scott says
Since he planned everything else, I imagine Benjy figured out a way- somehow- to actually read these messages, so I’ll address mine to him: Benj, there are friends we remember and, then, there are friends who form those very memories themselves, without whom the memory would not mean as much. You are such a friend, a friend who will forever stroll the sunlit sidewalks and moonlit mountaintops of our mutual dreams and aspirations. We shared much, we will continue to share much, because you form a special portion of who I am, this older man who misses the friend who helped me envision myself at this point. I do wish the older man we envisioned of you were here, to share the magnificent sunsets we knew were beyond the horizons of our youth, but, in many ways, that’s not the man you envisioned becoming. You spent your days fully and well, every day a new opportunity for creativity and wonder. In that, you fulfilled the dreams you had for yourself. You surrounded yourself with caring and remarkable people, charming and welcoming. You fulfilled that destiny of which we dreamed, my friend. No one knows the meaning of life, but you certainly filled your life with meaning. Cheers, Benj. Cheers, indeed.
Jennifer Gaskey says
Did not know this man but from just reading his obituary I’m sure those who did know him would all agree that he was a blessing to their lives. LOVED this obituary…wonderfully written!! #alsoajournalist